Ste Yuj
by K17L53
Summary: Set in season 3 after Lexa's duel thing with Roan. So, there's a hurt Lexa and a worried Clarke who's kind of on doctor mode. And so, obviously, Clexa, who's on good terms throughout the fic (they've made up about Mt. Weather but haven't gotten back together yet). Also the Ice Queen shows up briefly.


_A/N:_ I couldn't get this out of my head after I saw that clip of Lexa grabbing the blade of the sword and blood running down her fingers because I really needed to see Clarke patching her up. This is a little after Clarke and Lexa make up about what happened at Mt. Weather but they're still not together and although Clarke has put it behind her, she hasn't like…completely forgiven Lexa for it yet. They're on good terms throughout the fic though and it's mostly just Clarke and Lexa and no real angst in my opinion. But kinda angsty because Lexa's upset. And also the Ice Queen shows up.

* * *

Lexa looked down at the limp body lying on the ground at her feet as her chest rose and fell, trying to catch her breath. He was still breathing, _barely_ , Lexa thought as she felt the blood trickle down her forehead and finally felt the burning sensation on her left hand from when she had grabbed Roan's sword. She hadn't realized how badly it had cut into her because the only thing on Lexa's mind right then was getting his sword away from herself. As she let the pain finally wash over her, Lexa found it hard to keep herself standing up but managed to bend down and pick up Roan's spear which was lying next to him before her eyes found Nia on the platform by the other clan leaders. She's not sure what came over her but soon enough, she found herself throwing it across the arena at the Ice Queen. Lexa heard a gasp from the crowd as the spear tore across the sky before going right passed the queen's head. She looked at Lexa, panic evident in her eyes as Lexa looked at her with a steely glare, almost daring her to make a move.

Lexa waited a moment, feeling everyone's eyes on her as she continued to stare down the Ice Queen; none of this was necessary, none of this would've happened if it wasn't for her. No one would have questioned her leadership if Nia didn't have to make a bigger deal of the TonDC missile than it was. No one other than her even thought of questioning whether that was the right choice to make; most of the other clan's leaders let it go once they found out, seeing it the same way Lexa did, something she needed to do in order to make sure Mt. Weather was a success – which it was. But Nia managed to convince the others that leaving before the missile hit instead of evacuating was the easiest way out, making her look weak.

She didn't wait for the moment of shock to pass, Lexa turned around before walking away with long, proud strides. There was nothing but silence that followed for a few long seconds until Lexa heard a pair of quick small footsteps behind her. Not bothering to look back, she continued walking. Her body protested, wanting her to stop moving but she knew that wasn't an option until she got to her room. The Commander's Tower was only about a minute away from the Arena, and Lexa realized making her way there wasn't the difficult part but rather making her way up the staircase.

"Lexa!" She heard halfway up the steps. _Clarke_. Lexa stopped, looking down but not catching a glimpse of the blonde before continuing to climb up.

"At least tell me it's you that's going up and I'm not just following someone else." Clarke called out again after a few seconds.

Lexa sighed, not stopping. "Yes, it's me." She called out, continuing to go up.

It remained quiet until she reached her room, hoping to be alone right now and let herself fall apart after the events of today. But Lexa was greeted by one of her generals as well as her healers. "Leave." She ordered immediately.

"But Heda-" He tried, looking down at the blood droplets falling from her hand.

" _Bants_." Lexa said again through gritted teeth, " _Nau_." She commanded and watched as they rushed out of the room. She made her way over to the bed and sat down before taking a look at her left hand, noticing for the first time how bad it was bleeding. Lexa's shoulders slumped, letting the pain wash over her, she hadn't realized it was this bad. Her hand wasn't the only thing bleeding, Lexa noticed, bringing her other hand up to her forehead to wipe away the blood; there was also a small cut on her left upper arm where the blade on Roan's spear grazed her skin.

"Why did you send them away?" Lexa's head shot up at the sudden sound as she watched Clarke walk up to her.

"I don't need them." She replied matter-of-factly, looking up at her.

"You're bleeding." Clarke pointed out, looking down at the trail of small droplets of blood on the floor.

"It is nothing more than a scratch." Lexa tried to shrug but stopped immediately, flinching as a pain shot through her neck and shoulders.

"You're hurt." Clarke said again, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm fine." She told her and watched Clarke walk out of the room without another word and return only a moment later.

"At least let me take a look." She said, standing in her previous position.

"Clarke, I'm fine." Lexa tried again, stopping when she noticed one of her men stepping inside and Clarke walking over to him. She watched with a slightly confused expression as he handed Clarke a few things and she muttered a small thank you before turning back to Lexa.

"Let me help you out of your armor." Clarke said, walking up to Lexa and setting down the supplies on the floor by the bed.

"Clarke I'm fin-"

"You're not fine." Clarke cut her off. "You sent your healers away, the least you can do is let me take a look." Lexa remained unmoving for a moment before giving in, allowing Clarke to step up behind her and undo her armor before Lexa pulled it off from the front. "Shirt." Clarke said and this time Lexa did as she was told, using her right hand to try pull it off over her head when she felt Clarke's fingers grazing over the skin on her back as she helped take it off. Clarke's not sure what caused her to stop in her tracks once the shirt came off; whether it was the extraordinary tattoo that covered her shoulder blades and came down her spine or whether it was the morbid splotches of blue and purple that covered Lexa's back, Clarke wasn't sure.

"Everything alright?" Lexa asked Clarke who hadn't said anything in a while.

"Yeah," Clarke nodded, circling back to stand in front of Lexa before kneeling down on the floor where the things were.

"What is that?" Lexa asked.

"I asked the healers for some supplies to help patch you up." Clarke replied, handing her a cold, wet piece of cloth. "Press that against your hand, it'll help with the bleeding." Lexa nodded, doing as she was told as Clarke sat up on the bed next to her, "Look at me." She waited until Lexa turned her face to Clarke before her hand came up to Lexa's face, holding her chin as she looked at the blood still dripping down her forehead. "He did a number on you." She said, gently wiping it away with another piece of cloth. Lexa's eyes followed Clarke's as she continued to wipe away the blood on her face; the little bit under her nose and then the bit at the corner of her mouth. Clarke found her thumb brushing against Lexa's lower lip, unable to keep her mind from thinking back to how they felt against hers only months ago. Until now, Clarke was able to focus on nothing other than making sure Lexa was okay, but now she found herself looking up at the brunette's eyes who seemed to have been staring at her. It felt like everything stopped around them in that moment, Lexa felt a sense of calm wash over her as Clarke looked into her eyes; for a moment, she couldn't remember what was wrong because there was something about those blue eyes of hers that made everything feel okay.

Clarke cleared her throat suddenly, moving away and leaning back down to pick up some more supplies. "The cut on your arm looks bad." She muttered as she soaked another piece of cloth in an antiseptic before bringing it up to Lexa's arm. She felt a shiver go up her arm as Clarke's cool hand came in contact with her skin. "This is going to sting." Clarke told her, using her other hand to keep her still, this time not being distracted by the tattoo. Lexa flinched, doing her best not to, as the antiseptic came in contact with the wound. It took Clarke a couple of minutes to make sure it had been cleaned properly and would not get infected, before she bandaged it. "It's not deep enough to need stitches," She told Lexa, tucking in the loose strand of the bandage and smoothing it out gently with her thumb. "Has the bleeding slowed down?" Clarke asked, referring to Lexa's hand.

"Yes." She replied simply.

"Alright, let me see." Clarke said, grabbing the vile of antiseptic again. She took Lexa's hand, gently removing the cloth she had pressed against it, "That's definitely going to need stitches." She told her, beginning to clean it. Clarke heard a sharp intake of breath from Lexa and asked if she was alright, to which she only nodded. "This is going to hurt." Lexa barely moved as Clarke proceeded to stitch her hand, it was a lot deeper than she had thought. "I can believe you grabbed his blade like that." She commented, looking down as she continued.

"Me neither." Lexa gasped out.

"I'm sorry about this, it's almost done." Clarke looked up at her for a moment apologetically before going back. It took a few more seconds before Clarke reached down to grab more bandage. "Try not to use this hand too much." She said, wrapping it around her hand. "At least for a couple of days."

Lexa nodded, "I will do my best."

"All done." Clarke said after a moment, Lexa's hand still in hers. "Does anything else hurt?" She asked, bringing up one hand and brushing it against the side of her chest. "What about your ribs?"

"It hurts," Lexa replied. "But it does not feel broken."

"You sure?" Clarke asked gently.

Lexa nodded, giving Clarke a small reassuring smile. "I have broken them enough times to know what it feels like."

But Clarke didn't smile back, only looked at her with a concerned expression, "Are you sure you're okay?"

She nodded again before speaking, slightly confused, "You are worried about me?" It was more of an unexpected observation that came out as a question. The thought of someone actually caring that she was alright was more than a little unusual to Lexa, so when Clarke nodded, she only looked more confused, "Why?"

Clarke didn't say anything for a moment, "You know why." _Because despite what happened, I still care about you._ She didn't say anything else, went silent before beginning to get up abruptly. "You should rest."

Lexa stopped her, grabbing her wrist as she stood up only to let go almost as quickly as she grabbed it and Clarke looked at her. "Don't go." She said quietly.

Clarke gave her another worried look before nodding slowly and sitting back down next to her, but before she could say anything, someone walked in. Lexa's head turned away from Clarke to see who it was and she practically jumped up on her feet. "Nia." She almost sneered.

"Heda." She greeted.

"What do you want?" Lexa asked.

"I just wanted to thank you for not killing me." Nia replied casually, scanning her eyes over Lexa's body, doubtlessly enjoying the fact that she was hurt.

"I wish I hadn't missed." Lexa responded, not a hint of expression on her face and Clarke wondered how she did that.

"We both know you didn't." She smiled. "Why?"

"I do not want another war." Lexa replied simply. "Even after everything you did to me," She continued, "I cannot put my people through that."

"Always putting your people first." Nia said with a nod before turning to look at Clarke, "See, that is why she made Commander and not me."

Lexa clenched her jaws, wanting to strangle Nia for so much as looking at Clarke. "Are you done?"

"So she's the one, huh?" She asked, looking back at Lexa.

"Excuse me?" Clarke asked.

"The one the Commander chose to save at TonDC." Nia looked at Clarke with a smile.

"Get out." Lexa told her, her voice low and commanding.

"Fine." The Ice Queen sighed, walking back out.

Lexa let out a long, shaky breath as Nia left the room and she sat back down, her legs not able to hold her up any longer. She felt Clarke's hand on her back, "You're shaking," Clarke said, reaching for Lexa's jacket which was on lying on the bed from before the duel and draped it over her bare shoulders.

"I'm just so tired, Clarke." She managed to get out, unable to hide the quiver in her voice.

Clarke noticed the way Lexa was looking at her, almost pleading for her to make the pain go away. She waited a moment, unsure of what to say or do before she brought her arms around the brunette and pulled her in for a hug. Lexa's arm came up around Clarke instantly, holding on to her like it was a lifeline, not wanting to let go. She buried her head in the crook of Clarke's neck, breathing her in, telling herself she wasn't alone right now. Lexa doesn't remember the last time someone held her like that, it probably hasn't happened in years. And in Clarke's arms right now, Lexa wanted to let herself go, she wanted to let herself fall apart because for the first time in a very long time, she felt safe, like everything was okay, even if it was only for a while. "It's alright." Clarke said gently, moving her hand up and down her back, trying to comfort her.

"Thank you." Lexa whispered as they pulled away, not looking at Clarke.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asked slowly.

"I'm sorry Clarke." She looked at her.

"We already talked about this," Clarke knew Lexa was talking about Mt. Weather. "You don't have to apologize again." She waited for Lexa to respond but she didn't.

"I never meant for it to be like this." Lexa finally spoke.

"We can't undo the past." Clarke said simply. "And we both know the duty to protect your people comes first-"

"I wish it didn't." Lexa said before Clarke could even finish her sentence. "It would not be like this then." She felt tears stinging the back of her eyes as she looked at Clarke.

Clarke nodded, knowing very well Lexa was talking about them; talking about what they could've been if Mt. Weather hadn't gone the way it did. She never said it directly, it was always like this, always implying that taking the deal at Mt. Weather was a lot more than just putting the alliance at risk. "No, no it wouldn't be." Clarke agreed, reluctantly. "But it won't always be like _this_ either."

She looked at Clarke, a glint of surprise and disbelief in her eyes, not wanting to say anything that might mess it up. "Do you think so?"

"Yes." Clarke replied without having to think about it before adding. "Well, I hope it's not always like this."

There was still hope for them, Lexa realized, finally giving Clarke a soft smile but not saying anything. Maybe they could make it, maybe they would be okay. _Not now…not yet,_ she told herself. _But eventually_.

"Get some rest, Lexa." Clarke told her, not moving from her position this time. "I'll be here when you wake up."

* * *

 _A/N:_ I feel like my writing's a little different in this one but I can't really explain how, it just is. And I kinda wrote this in the car on my way back home last night because well, I couldn't get it out of my head and it was a long ride. Then I edited it at school during a free so be gentle, its definitely not one of my best.


End file.
